


Everyday I Love You

by ring_my_bell



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Coming of Age, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-05 08:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14040024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ring_my_bell/pseuds/ring_my_bell
Summary: What if King T'Chaka had not left Erik in Oakland? The outcome is Erik growing up in Wakanda and trying to understand his feelings for his cousin.





	1. ViViD

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how long this will be, I kept daydreaming in class about Erik's life if he had been taken to Wakanda and this is the amalgamation of all those daydreams I had instead of paying attention to the classes.  
> Well.  
> The fic name is a song from a KPop Girl Group, Loona. It's ViVi's solo single  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNcBZM5SvbY  
> I was listening to it while writing this.

King T’Chaka stood by Prince N’Jobu’s, now dead, body. The pain of killing his brother was unbearable, even if he did what had to be done for Wakanda. N’Jobu was a traitor to the country and to his people, as king, T’Chaka had to put his people and country as priority. But now he had the blood of his own brother in his hands. He knew that this would have many negative impacts in the future, but there was nothing to be done. He had to cover this up, this was his only choice.

“My king?” Zuri spoke, voice still shaken with the whle situation.

“What is it Zuri?” T’Chaka’s voice was shaken and he was trying to wipe the tears off his eyes.

“Prince N’Jobu has a son, he is a Wakandan. What do you intend to do.”

T’Chaka was now riddled with such a painful decision, take this innocent child back to Wakanda, being straightforward with the murder or leave him here, to rot and to not have the rights he deserves as of Wakandan royal blood. But King T’Chaka couldn’t let the child to grow without a family, he had no idea how to approach this.

“We’ll take him Zuri, leaving him behind would be cruel, please show me my nephew.”

Zuri lead King T’Chaka and his Dora Milaje guards outside of the residential building to talk to Erik, or Prince N’Jadaka which was his royal name.

“Hey, Erik buddy.”

Erik stopped playing basketball with his friends and spoke to his “Uncle”

“Hi, Uncle James” He looked at the Dora Milaje and T’Chaka with their uncommon attire and looked suspicious. “What do you want?”

It hurted Zuri to take Erik away from his home, but it had to be done. This was a difficult situation for everyone, they couldn’t tell him about the murder now. They would have to lie for the time being.

“So… Your father was involved with some dangerous stuff and…” Erik was looking at him confused “Erik, I don’t know how to say this but… Your dad was killed.”

Erik’s young heart felt like it was crumbling apart, he had so many questions he wanted to ask, he wanted to scream, tears started to fall off his face and his whole world was destroyed.

“Why are these weird people here Uncle James…” Erik said crying amidst words

“Erik, this is your dad’s brother he’ll take you in, I’ll go too. We’re going to Wakanda, your dad’s birthplace.”

T’Chaka introduced himself to his nephew he gave him a hug, it felt so… wrong, he had murdered his nephew’s father and was trying to comfort him. But they had to take him back to Wakanda, unfortunately lying would be needed, for now.

“Look here, Erik was your American name?” the prince nodded “We’ll take you back to Wakanda, where you’ll live a great life and we’ll give my brother a proper burial ok? You’re a prince, N’Jadaka, I know it must hurt, trust me I’m in pain as well” That wasn’t a lie, King T’Chaka was indeed in pain from the loss of his dear brother, a loss he himself had caused. “You have to be strong, ok?” He patted Erik’s head and the boy nodded again.

Uncle James holded Erik’s hand and took him to the ship alongside the King and the two Dora Milaje.

\--

The trip to Wakanda would take a little while. Zuri was holding Erik as he still cried during the trip, once Erik stopped, he started talking.

“Uncle James, why didn’t we go to Wakanda before?” Erik asked, not looking at Zuri.

“Your dad was like a spy from Wakanda buddy, his job was to observe and report to Wakanda the situation on the rest of the world” He patted Erik’s back.

“Baba always told me stories about Wakanda, I always thought they were fairy tales.” Erik wiped off his tears.

“Well, now we’re going to live in that Fairy Tale!” Zuri had said in a more cheerful tone, trying to lighten the mood.

Erik hugged him tighter and eventually fell asleep

\--

Once they reached Wakanda the Dora Milaje led Erik to a room where he could rest, they told him to sleep for the night and that tomorrow he’d meet his new family.

His room was enormous and his bed was the biggest bed he’d ever seen, with very weird but fancy design ‘This really is like a fairy tale’ he thought.

He took the clothes that were on top of his bed and changed onto them, they felt weird but really comfy.

Erik laid down on the bed and tried to sleep, still shaken by the whole  turn of events.

\--

Erik was woken up by a knock on his door “Prince N’Jadaka, please get up”

“Five more minutes…”

“My prince, everyone is waiting for you, please get up.”

Then Erik remembered that he was now in a giant castle and that yesterday was no nightmare. He got up put on the clothes someone magically left for him.

He opened the door and was greeted by two Dora Milaje who accompanied him to the dining room where they would have breakfast, there was waiting his Uncle T’Chaka, a woman with a weird white hat and a white dress, a very pretty boy, about his age he presumed and little girl with her hair in 2 buns.

The pretty boy smiled at him, sympathetically and the little girl didn’t even notice he was there.

“Prince N’Jadaka” His uncle spoke. “This is your new family.” He smiled. He could feel a sincere warmth about his uncle, but all of this felt surreal and weird, the pain was still lingering and not only from his father’s death but from leaving his home behind. But he didn’t have a choice as a young boy did he?

“I’m Ramonda, your aunt.” The queen smiled at him “This here is your cousin Shuri, say hi Shuri.” Shuri ignored her mother and kept eating whatever she was eating. Ramonda sighed.

“Hi” The pretty boy got up and extended his hand. “I’m T’Challa, nice to meet you” Erik was a little dazzled by him, he was so… bright. He took his hand and shook it. “I’m Erik.” He raised a brow “Oh, Erik’s my American name.”

“Do you want me to call you that?”

“Uhh… I don’t know. Call me what you prefer really” He scratched the back of his head. T’Challa nodded.

He took a seat at the table and ate silently. Still not used to all of this.

Once he finished he thanked them for the food and got up “I’m going back to my bedroom, if that’s fine.” He said shyly and T’Chaka nodded.

As Erik was guided by the Dora Milaje back to his room, the king talked to his son “T’Challa” He handed his son a ring, a ring that was meant only for people of the royal family.

“Give this to N’Jadaka”

T’Challa nodded. “But why can’t you do it?”

T’Chaka grimaced and looked for words to say. “I think it’s better for someone his age to try and talk to him, it’ll be healthy.” T’Challa nodded again.

T’Challa finished his food and waited for nightfall to talk to his cousin.

\--

T’Challa knocked on the bedroom’s door. “N’Jadaka?” he heard footsteps and his cousin opened the door.

“What is it?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

T’Challa sat on Erik’s bed and patted on it, telling Erik to sit with him.

“So… I came here to give this to you.” T’Challa handed the ring to Erik and Erik analyzed it.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“It’s a ring that proves you’re part of the royal family. It was found within your father’s belongings. It belongs to you now.”

Erik looked sad at the mention of his dad, of course he’d be, he is a child and everything happened yesterday, literally.

T’Challa felt guilty, he wanted to try and cheer him up or get to know his cousin but he just made him feel bad.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned your dad.” T’Challa looked down

“O-Oh it’s fine, it’s not your fault.” Erik sighed heavily

“I-If you don’t mind I can show you around Wakanda tomorrow! What do you think?” T’Challa smiled big and wide trying to cheer his cousin up. He took Erik’s hand and held them tightly

Erik was a little startled, his cousin’s smile was so pretty, _he was pretty_. He could feel a light blush coming, he tried averting his gaze.

“Fine, I guess.”

T’Challa hugged him hard. Erik was surprised, but he hugged him back. T’Challa them said in a more quiet tone “If you need anything you can ask me ok? I’ll be here for you, you’re part of our family now.”

Erik felt the tears coming back and just sunk his head in his cousin’s shoulder and let the tears flow.

Once they broke apart Erik’s face was a little swollen from crying, he sobbed and said “Thanks”

“Feeling any better?”

“A bit.”

T’Challa smiled again, this time it was a small gentle smile. “Well, I’m going back to my room, good night. N’Jadaka.” He got up from Erik’s bed and made his way out.

“Good night, cuz”

Erik then went to sleep thinking about T’Challa’s pretty face.


	2. Around You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response was so overwhemingly positive i just had to get the chapter out as soon as possible... I don't know if i'll keep this updated daily, but I'll enjoy the creative explosion i'm having.   
> Also the song I listened to while writing this fic is Around You by HyunJin, the name of the chapter  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-dEY-PJEyk&list=RD2-dEY-PJEyk  
> I'll try to make things angsty at some point, but let the boys be cute for now right?

Erik was able to wake up on his own today, he got up put on his wakandan attire and made his way to the dinner room to have breakfast, he was guided by the Dora Milaje of course, he still felt lost on the castle even with their guidance.

His Uncle and Aunt weren’t present, neither his cousin Shuri. It was just T’Challa. He was eating silently.

“Hey cuz” T’Challa looked at Erik with a fork in his mouth still. Erik tried to smile and asked “Where’s everyone?”

T’Challa swallowed his food and spoke “Oh, baba is attending to a council meeting and mom is with him.” Erik sat down and looked at his plate, to him, the food was unrecognizable but it was tasty nonetheless and the juice was the sweetest and tastiest juice he had ever drank.

“What about your little sister?”

“She is still sleeping” T’Challa finished eating and cleaned his mouth and he looked at Erik “Hope you haven’t forgotten were going out to see Wakanda today”

“No I didn’t”

“Well then, I’ll be waiting for you outside the palace! See you in a while.” T’Challa squeezed Erik’s shoulder and left the dining room.

\--

Erik was guided by the guards to the castle entrance, where T’Challa was waiting him. Since it was daytime he was able to see Wakanda in it’s glory, since the castle was in the highest point of the city. It was stunning of course, just as he had imagined.

“It’s beautiful isn’t?” T’Challa asked him, poking his right cheek

Erik jumped on the spot, he was too focused on the scenery “Don’t do that again!” he pouted and T’Challa giggled a bit.

“Well shall we?” T’Challa then leaded the way for Erik and they started strolling around the city.

There were so many things to see, so many different people with different clothes, hairstyles faces, it was amazing.

T’Challa showed him some funny looking fruits in the market, a place where his family got clothes tailored for them. They visited the residential areas and T’Challa kept speaking with sparkles on his eyes, excited to have someone his age to talk to and befriend.

Erik was dazed by the giant skyscrapers and flying vehicles, every step they took was another surprise and Erik couldn’t contain his gasps and T’Challa giggled at his curiosity and intrigued expressions, he thought it was cute.

Time passed and they decided to lunch outside the castle and keep sightseeing, he told his father through his Kimoyo Beads they would spend the day out, to have some fun and he didn’t object.

They had lunch on a pretty restaurant, they sat on the floor but it was filled with cushions, their bodyguards ate at a different table while Erik told T’Challa stories about Oakland and how life outside Wakanda is, while enjoying the delicious foods.

He did a magic trick he learned with his father, he made a coin disappear and took it from behind T’Challa’s ear, T’Challa looked so intrigued, he kept asking how he did that and once more he took Erik’s hands on his own without thinking.

Erik was embarrassed by that a little, but they were from different countries, maybe being so affectionate with another boy wasn’t badly seen in Wakanda, but he wasn’t able to keep his blush.

“N’Jadaka?” T’Challa had a little worry in his voice “You’re red, did something happen?”

Erik released his hands from T’Challa’s grip “O-oh, it’s nothing.” T’Challa then looked relieved and started talking once more about random topics.

Once they had finished they visited the outskirts of the city, where there were Rhino’s being kept and Erik looked so amazed by that, T’Challa told him they could pet them and so they did just that. Erik was smiling big for the first time, T’Challa really enjoyed seeing his cousin feeling a bit better, he thought to himself ‘Mission Accomplished’.

\--

“It’s getting late T’Challa.” Erik said as they were walking up to a cliff on the edge of Wakanda.

“This is the best part, N’Jadaka, hurry hurry!” T’Challa grabbed Erik’s hand and started running towards the end of the hill.

“W-Wait,T’Challa I’m going to fall!” Erik stumbled but T’Challa stopped. “What’s the big idea? I could ha—” Erik stopped talking as he was breath taken by the gorgeous sunset, which was a indescribable shade of pink with oranges mixed that made the buldings on Wakanda shine gold.

“This… is beautiful” T’Challa smiled with his eyes closed as

“Isn’t it? Sunsets in Wakanda are the most gorgeous in the whole world, or so I believe. I haven’t left Wakanda yet!” He giggled a bit.

“I’m pretty sure this is the most beautiful I’ve seen really.” Both of them sat on the ground and watched the sun finally set and them darkness plunder the city. They laid down on the grass looking at the night sky, waiting for it to fully darken for the stars to appear.

They stayed there quietly, only hearing the wind and the leaves shaking in the trees. T’Challa broke their silence “I hope you had fun today.” And looked at Erik.

“I did” Erik smiled sincerely, he was able to forget his pain for a while, he’d love if everyday could be like this.

T’Challa was on his side facing Erik again, he took Erik’s hands again ‘Gosh he needs to stop doing that’ Erik thought

“I’m so happy to have someone my age around, you don’t even know!” He said cheerfully.

“I…” Erik didn’t understand why T’Challa was being so friendly, but he appreciated it sincerely. “I’m happy too” He said blushing a little and T’Challa smiled at him.

“Well, it’s getting late. Let’s go back to the castle.” He got up and offered Erik his hand to help him get up.

The guards them accompanied them to the castle while they held hands, one of the Dora Milaje was trying to hide her smile.

\--

Weeks passed by, N’Jobu’s burial had happened and it was hard for Erik, but T’Challa still kept him company and they both had fun and were being educated about Wakanda’s history by one of their tutors ‘I guess even in fairy land you can’t escape studying’ Erik thought.

They had fun, they played around the castle running around and hiding. Shuri also played with them sometimes, she was very young but Erik was suspicious she was smarter than him and T’Challa.

Queen Ramonda was nice company, she was sweet and told Erik about Bast and the Heart Shaped Herb, just like his father once had and how T’Challa was meant to succeed to the throne and how he’d become the next Black Panther, Erik thought how cool that was. Ramonda also taught him about the food in Wakanda, since he had no idea about what any of it was.

One night Erik was having nightmares, he wanted to sleep so badly but his nightmares wouldn’t let him so he did the only thing he could have done, he made his way to T’Challa’s room and knocked on his door and waited for his cousin to open it.

“What is N’Jadaka?” He yawned

“Can I sleep here?”

“Sure, why though?”

“…I’m having nightmares.” He entered his room and laid down on his cousin’s bed, it was big it had space for them both.

“About what?” T’Challa covered himself with his blankets.

“I’m always being chased by this big spotted cat, he always gets to me and I die. He is two times my size too. It’s scary.” T’Challa blinked.

“Like a Jaguar?”

“A what?”

“A Jaguar. It’s a feline that’s common to the American continent. Never heard of them?”

“I’m in Africa, why is there a American cat chasing me then.” He laid his head on the pillows, frustrated due to his failed attempts at sleeping.

T’Challa then pulled Erik close and held him. Erik was red ear to ear “W-Why are you doing this?”

“This might help you sleep dummy! I’ll be here if you wake up, if you keep having nightmares.

“W-Were both boys! This is weird!” T’Challa looked confused, he didn’t understand what was weird about this.

“How is that weird?” He asked sincerely.

Erik opened his mouth to speak but gave up on it “Forget it. I’ll explain it to you tomorrow you idiot.” He hugged T’Challa tightly, he was tired and needed sleep.

And they didn’t know how common that event would become, not only for Erik to have his nightmares calmed down, sometimes T’Challa would willingly go to Erik’s bedroom and they’d sleep cuddled with each other, not because T’Challa had nightmares but because it was good, it was comforting to have this affection. He didn’t want it to ever stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is leaving kudos and comments! It means a lot, really. Hope you all enjoyed~~


	3. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi! This chapter is a bit shorter but, expect the next one to be a little longer! I'm trying to think of more things to do, because honestly i didn't plan ANYTHING  
> hope you enjoy this chapter though! It was fun to write.

3 years had passed since Erik was taken to Wakanda, he got used to it, learned their dialect and starting doing some combat training, he wouldn’t succeed the throne but he wanted to be a an asset do the Royal Family, maybe become a spy or just fight by his cousin’s side, he didn’t decide it yet.

Erik and T’Challa were as close as ever, although T’Challa also started to learn about his duties as the throne successor, he took up a lot of physical training to get ready for being the Black Panther one day, so he couldn’t play around with Erik all the time, but Erik still had some time to play with Shuri, she really enjoyed techy things, Erik always found her playing around the lab when she shouldn’t be there, the scientists always told them to not be there.

But when Erik and T’Challa did have time together, they’d always go outside into the city, eat something and watch the sunset, they really had began to be forge a close bond, King T’Chaka was pleased. But even then he wasn’t able to tell him the truth of what had transpired the day his brother died. He couldn’t, after seeing his nephew grow happier day by day. He wasn’t capable to shatter him once more.

“T’Chaka?” Ramonda spoke to her husband as they waited for the council to reach the meeting room.

“What is it, Ramonda?”

“It’s been 3 years already. Are you really going to leave N’Jadaka in the dark?”

King T’Chaka frowned. “I’ll tell him when the time is right.”

Ramonda wanted to say more, but she knew nothing good would come out of this, so she left it. But seeing Erik grow without knowing the truth was painful, one day all of these lies would crumble, lies always get found out.

\--

Erik and T’Challa we’re lunching together as they normally did, the Dora Milaje guards we’re chatting outside.

“What did you do in your hair?” T’Challa asked while eating rice.

“Oh, these?” Erik pointed at his dreadlocks, his hair took some time to get to a nice length to do that,but he finally did it and it looked great “They’re cool right?”

“Yeah,you look really good.” T’Challa smiled.

Erik chuckled and scratched the back of his head “Aw geez, you’re embarrassing me.” They both finished eating and left the restaurant, Erik was with a lollipop in his mouth “You really like those lollipops huh?” T’Challa said.

“I mean how can’t I? These are the best ones I ever had in my life!”

T’Challa rolled his eyes. “Want to do a hoverboard race?”

“Sure!”

They both picked up their hoverboards and started flying away, their bodyguards running after them extremely worried.

\--

After they finished their little race they stopped at a random hill in the outskirts of the city to wait for the sunset as they usually did.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the wind blow and the noise of the leaves shaking in the trees.

“So, T’Challa.” Erik turned to him. “How is the whole Black Panther training thingy?”

“Tiresome, but cool I guess.” T’Challa yawned. “I’m having a lot of exercise and I’m learning a lot about combat and war tactics… I’m not getting enough sleep and I feel a lot of pain from it. Ugh… I want a break.” Erik tapped his cousin’s shoulder, he could see dark circles under his eyes, I guess this was unavoidable responsibility as the successor to the throne.

“At least today you got a break right? Did you have fun?”

T’Challa laid his head in Erik’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “It’s always fun with you Erik.” Erik was a bit startled.

“You called me Erik.”

“Oh?” T’Challa said tiredly “I guess I--*yawns* did”

“Oh c’mere” Erik shifted a bit so T’Challa could lay his head in his lap.

“Take a little nap, cuz” Erik started tracing circles with his finger in T’Challa’s hair, lulling him to sleep.

He looked at T’Challa sleeping, he really was growing to be very handsome. His training was making his body become muscular and he could see traces of facial hair in his chin. He looked so cute and pure, Erik thought. ‘ _what if I kissed you…’_ Erik caught off guard by his own thoughts, brushed that away. This was his cousin, not only that he was a boy.

But not like it mattered in Wakanda did it? He saw gay couples all around the city, and cousin relationships are really that bad? Royal Families used to have cousins marry each other, why couldn’t they both?

“God what the hell am I thinking” He shook his head. T’Challa grunted a bit.

“Oh sorry, cuz” He kept ‘petting’ T’Challa as the sun started to set.

“My lords!” Erik jumped and startled T’Challa with the sudden motion. “There you 2 are!” One of the Dora Milaje said “Your father has been dead worried about you two! Please let’s go back to the castle.”

T’Challa rubbed his eye “Ok… I’m sorry Ebele… me and Erik we’ll go back” Erik helped T’Challa get up as they followed Ebele to their vehicle.

“Sorry, Erik. I should have warned baba we we’re staying out.” He yawned again

“No problem, we can come another day.” They entered the royal ship and flew back to the castle.

\--

They had dinner together with King T’Chaka, Queen Ramonda and Shuri. It was a pleasant night but the king scolded the two of them for not letting him know beforehand where they were.

Both of them finished and made their way to their rooms.

“Hey, Erik?” Erik looked at T’Challa.

“What’s up?”

“Can I… sleep with you”

“Sure, why though?”

“I just…” He was a bit red, Erik saw it. “it felt good… at the hill. I think I’ll sleep better.” He was very embarrassed to be asking for this, they didn’t sleep along made some time, they stopped doing it when puberty hit them and they started feeling as if it was weird to be doing that. But T’Challa never wanted to stop. They stopped because Erik wasn’t comfortable with it anymore. He was starting to feel things he thought he shouldn’t for his cousin. He tried to deny it for a long time. But it’s very difficult with T’Challa being so innocent and adorable, being such a good company and always providing Erik with a lot of affection. Erik really liked T’Challa.

“Fine, fine. Don’t make that face” Erik changed and waited for T’Challa to come back.

\--

T’Challa laid down and Erik embraced him and started caressing his head and listened to T’Challa breathing. He looked like a… cat. Erik couldn’t unsee that. The way he was breathing reminded him of a purr. How is that even possible?

He kissed his cousin’s forehead. He didn’t know why he did that.

“What the hell am I doing…” He said to himself.

_‘why do you have to be so goddamn cute… I shouldn’t be feeling these things.’_ He tried to believe that these exchanges were mere  fraternal affection, but… he could dream right?

_‘did I really fall in love with my cousin?’_ He thought, caught a bit off guard with by the word ‘love’.

_‘I might as well make the most out of this.’_ And finally closed his eyes.

He slept quickly and peacefully and T’Challa finally was able to get some nice rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any of you noticing a pattern with the chapter titles?   
> hope you all did! Anyways, kudo and comments appreaciated really, and thanks for everyone leaving comments and reading this as I write it!


	4. Kiss Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy I'm back, sorry for not uploading in the weekends, I was really tired... art school is taking a toll on me tbh  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a whole lot of fun to write!

Days flew by in Wakanda, T’Challa being more busy than ever with his qualification tasks for the throne, Erik tried one day to accompany T’Challa in his exercises but he got worn out in the first 30 minutes. T’Challa shaked his head “You’re really out of shape huh?”

“Your routine is too hard!” He said amidst panting.

“Oh is that the problem really?” T’Challa grabbed Erik’s belly “S-Stop that tickles!” Erik was trying to contain his laugh. T’Challa released him. “Why are you so mean?” Erik pouted.

T’Challa chuckled a bit. “I’m just joking around a bit Erik. But you do need to decide what will you do you, have any particular interests?”

Erik thought for a bit. “Well… I don’t know yet.”

T’Challa tapped his shoulder. “It’s ok, you don’t have to decide yet! But you get that luxury. I don’t.”

“What?”

“You can choose to be what you want, I can’t.”

“Does that make you unhappy?”

“Not at all, I love my country! I’ll proudly be king. But…” T’Challa paused a bit “It does feel like my whole life is all planned out already, there is little thrill to it, you know?” As a teenager that was a completely normal feeling for T’Challa.

“Well… but what else would you want to be?” Erik and T’Challa sat on the floor on the field they were training, it was pretty big. There we’re some Dora Milaje doing their daily routine there as well.

T’Challa thought for a moment. “Well.. I really don’t know either?” T’Challa let a loud sigh. “Well enough slacking off. Back to running.” Erik groaned but complied anyway.

\--

The training routine was over, Erik was exhausted and when he got to his bedroom he crashed on his bed.

“My whole body hurts so much.” He said to himself. He got up and made his way to his restroom to take a bath before taking a nap to rest. The hot water relaxed his body and untensed his muscles, he looked at his own body. He really was out of shape. He didn’t know what to do yet with his life in Wakanda. There was a variety of options, but everything was so different here.

It wasn’t clear cut as ‘I want to be a doctor or a lawyer’. He was of royal blood, he had to exert an important job. T’Challa was going to be king, he was third in succession even though he was older than Shuri, she was daughter of the king.  He wasn’t interested in the throne though. His life was so fun and great but he knew life isn’t fun and games always.

He thought back to Oakland. Of all the injustice that happens to people of his race and color outside of Wakanda. How unfair the world seemed for being born as a black person. He wanted to help, how he would help was something he didn’t know yet, but at least a goal he formed in his mind.

He closed the tap of his shower, dried himself and exited his bathroom.

“Hey Erik, sorry for bargin---” T’Challa opened the door without knocking. Erik was naked. T’Challa covered his face “AH, I-I-I’m sorry!! Tell me when you finish changing!” He shut the door and waited outside. His whole face burning

T’Challa wasn’t expecting to see his cousin naked. But even though he did barely any exercise at all, his body was in a decent shape. His skin was completely flawless his face was getting more gorgeous the more the days passed, his smile was beautiful, his cousin was beautiful. He wanted to… ‘God what am I thinking’ and sunk his head in his knees.

“Knock next time, cuz” He chuckled a bit.

\--

“What do you want?” Erik opened his door.

“I just wanted to tell you baba said we could have dinner out today. Me and you.”

This felt conspicuously like a date. Erik thought. Not that he wanted a date with T’Challa.

“Is that all?”

T’Challa nodded. He had a light blush on his face. “You’re not that out of shape.” He avoided eye contact.

Erik decided to play a bit with T’Challa, he was curious about his reaction if he started to act more flirty. It was his chance to see if he felt anything for him, even though they’re cousins. “Liked what you saw, cuz?” Erik smirked.

“No! I mean yes! I mean… Not like that!” He was hiding his face with his arms. “I’m just trying to say you’re not ugly you moron!” Erik laughed heavily.

“Chill dude, I’m just playing with ya” He patted his cousin’s back. T’Challa was pouting with his face looking like a tomato.

“We’ll go out in 2 hours you big idiot.” He said and left.

\--

T’Challa and Erik left the palace for dinner together, the went to a more modern place that reminded Erik of the restaurants in America. The menu even had some foods he recognized such as burguers and even pizza.

The atmosphere was nice, it was spacious, there were flowers decorating the whole place and a fountain in the middle. It was full, there was chatter from the crowd present.

One of the waiter greeted them and recognized them, since it was hard to not be recognized when you were part of the royal family.

“Fancy place” Erik and T’Challa sat down. Both of the looked at the menu.

“First time here as well, it really is nice. We don’t eat outside very much, I guess we could use a change of pace!” He smiled.

“It’s very… romantic.” He held his chin with one hand while looking at his cousin.

T’Challa was a bit nervous, he didn’t like this flirty aura (He actually did) with Erik, they were cousins, was he supposed to be doing this? “Uhm… so what will you eat?” he tried to dismiss the last phrase. Erik was disappointed he didn’t answer.

They both ordered their food and ate while having small talk. The two of them were enjoying their night together, once they finished they left to walk around the streets a bit, Wakanda at night was as beautiful as in the day, with so many lights around the city. There was a firework festival happening as well, they watched it together. T’Challa was completely enticed by the lights, Erik found that look really beautiful, with the fireworks reflecting in his eyes and his subtle smile. He took a picture of him with his Kimoyo Beads, T’Challa noticed it.

“Why did you do that?” He asked, a bit annoyed.

“You looked really good ok, couldn’t resist it.” Erik said, a tint of pink in his cheeks.

“Oh” T’Challa averted his gaze and crossed his arms. “Well, let’s go back already then, baba must be worried already.” He left in front of Erik so he wouldn’t look at Erik’s face for a while.

\--

When they reached the palace Ramonda greeted them, asked if they had fun. Which they did and they left to their rooms.

Once at Erik’s door T’Challa asked. “Hey Erik” He looked at T’Challa.

“What?”

“It’s still early, want to play a match of chess or something?”

“Yeah sure, sounds like fun.”

They entered the room and T’Challa used his beads to generate a chess board and the pieces. The process looked really cool. He and T’Challa sat down on Erik’s bed. T’Challa was really smart, he won the match effortlessly.

Erik sighed in frustration. “Bleh. How do hell did you know all my moves?”

“I’m to be king, of course I need to be a good strategist” He said with a very smug tone. “I need to know when and how to overpower my opponent.” He winked at Erik. ‘the nerve’ Erik thought.

“Well, _your Highness_ can you overpower this?” Erik got very close to T’Challa, the holographic chess board disappearing after he passed through it.

“E-Erik what are you doing.” T’Challa moved backward but if he went further he would fall from the bed. He laid down and Erik climbed on top of him.

T’Challa hid his face with his arms, Erik took both of them and held them down. “C’mon cuz, you want this too don’t you?”

Erik had a extremely seductive  expression, T’Challa was flushing extremely hard, he felt the heat on his face. But Erik looked gorgeous he was just staring, at a loss for words “I-I, Uh, W-What do you mean?”

Erik’s face was inches apart from his cousin’s, T’Challa felt his breath. “You know what I’m talking about.” He said almost whispering.

And T’Challa would lie if he didn’t think about this often, or dream about this even. His cousin was attractive, nice personality and really fun to be around. He was the perfect boyfriend. But he was his _cousin_ , was this really right? Well he had no time to think about that, Erik’s lips were brushing his already.

“My lords, you father wishe---” One of their guards entered the room without knocking, both of them looked at her, frozen on the spot. “What’s happening here?” she said with a distrustful tone.

Erik quickly climbed off from T’Challa and T’Challa got up from the bed. “Uh nothing!” He laughed nervously.

“Oh, so I what I saw was nothing?” Erik and T’Challa were shaking in the spot.

“Please don’t tell baba!” He shouted.

The guard sighed and shook her head. “It’s fine boys, I can keep a secret.” Both of them felt relieved.

“Thank you so much Ebele!”

“Anyways, your father wishes to speak to you. I’ll be waiting outside.” She left the room.

Erik sighed in relief. “Well that was close.”

“Y-Yeah…” T’Challa looked at him. “I have to go now…” He looked at his feet and held his left arm.

“It’s fine, we can continue later” Erik winked.

“Uhmm…  we can continue the chess, yes.” T’Challa said “Anyways, good night Erik.” And he left his cousin’s bedroom.

Erik went then to sleep, thinking about T’Challa, as he is always does before sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well and here I conclude this 'cycle' of chapters, they'll probably be older on the next few chapters, i'm planning on adding nakia to the plot, start to give some conflict with T'Challa's feelings. I couldn't make them be together already or the fic would be over! Thanks to everyone commenting and leaving kudos! It really makes my day.


	5. Everyday I Need You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughh ok, this chapter is not very good imo, that's why it took longer to update too, i ran out of ideas  
> i hope you all still enjoy it though.

Years went on, T’Challa and his preparations to be a suitable heir only got harder, he was happy about the sucession, his relationship with Erik was… a weird one. They both really enjoyed their life together, but there was feelings there that neither could ignore, but the did and in the end things got akward as the grew up. Time alone between the two of them was even more seldom than before, Erik started his training for being a spy for Wakanda and working outside the city, to help his people, since he was fluent in English and had an American accent, he could be positioned back to America without any problems, he’d come back to visit everyone though. At least that was his plan.

T’Challa promised Erik he’d go with him to the unit’s base that day so they could have a little time together as well, since it’s been nearly weeks they didn’t spend any time together.

They entered the building, tons of warriors from Wakanda were there.

T’Challa spoke “Wow, are you sure you’re ready for this? There are a lot of strong warriors here.”

Erik smirked “Of course I am, cuz, I’ve stopped slacking off makes a long time. I caught up to you.”

“Oh did you? Well, good luck anyways.”

A woman then looked at the both of them in surprise. “Oh? Prince T’Challa and Prince N’Jadaka?” she walked over to them.

She was very pretty, extremely beautiful skin and short hair. She was short but her muscles were toned, T’Challa was startled by her and Erik noticed it. He was frozen on the spot.

“Hey there” Erik said, nudging T’Challa.

“O-Oh, hi” He was visibly shaking.

“My name’s Nakia.”

“You here for the whole spy thing?” Erik said.

“Spy thing? I guess I am. Are you?”

Erik nodded.

“Well good luck on that, I’m off” She left the bulding.

T’Challa was still frozen in place. “Careful not to drool there, cuz” Erik said and T’Challa recomposed himself in a hurry.

\--

Erik finished his test and T’Challa was waiting for him, they left the examination area and left to eat.

Erik noticed T’Challa was instantly smitten by Nakia, was he annoyed? Yes. Was he ever going to admit that? Nope, he promised to himself he’d not care about T’Challa’s love life, and that little incident 4 years ago was nothing and just 2 kids playing around. But the dreams didn’t stop, that wasn’t something he could control.

“Looks like our majesty has a little crush.” T’Challa started coughing on his food.

“No I don’t.” He frowned and kept eating.

“Yeah, you completely do. You stopped working when she talked to you.”

“So what if I do, Erik?” He glared at his cousin.

“Why so defensive, you can be open to me. About _anything”_

“What… What are you insinuating?” He looked suspiciously at Erik.

“Goddamit man, just tell me if you want help ok? I’m sure you’ll need it anyway.”

“Tch… fine. She is pretty indeed. Do you think I have any chances?”

Erik looked at his cousin, almost 20 years old and looking so attractive and in shape. “Of course you do. Just ask for a date.” Erik was trying to hide his annoyance.

“I’ll try, wish me luck!” He said joyfully. Oblivious to the clear annoyance of his cousin.

\--

Time passed, T’Challa was able to actually start dating Nakia. He was happy but she would always be off in missions. Erik got in the spy unit as well, sometimes he and Nakia went on the same missions. He started to get to know her, she was a nice girl. T’Challa was a lucky man. ‘But I guess I’m not huh’ he tried to dismiss that.

No matter where he went he’d think about his cousin, the boy he spent years with, the boy who helped him so much through the hardest time in his life up until now. How could he not fall in love with that sweet smile, warm personality and everything that T’Challa is.

He tried to spend more time with him, but both of their schedules didn’t really meet. T’Challa was now always occupied being thaught about politics and those kingly things and Erik was working already to help others outside of Wakanda while also learning about the rest of the world.

He couldn’t deny he missed his younger days where he and T’Challa would spend time just playing around and were attached to the hip. He wanted to have continued that kiss years ago...

‘Goddamit…’ he thought ‘Ignoring all of this just made the problem bigger huh’

“Prince N’Jadaka?” Startled by the hand in his shoulder, Erik looked up.

“Uhh, what is it Nakia?”

“You look sad today, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. We’ll arrive at out destination soon, let’s not get distracted” he tried to dismiss the whole thing but Nakia was suspicious of him.

\--

On their trip back from the scouting Nakia decided to interrogate Erik, they we’re not super close, but this was her boyfriend's cousin, she felt the need to be considerate.

“Prince N’Jadaka, I’ve noticed you’re a little aloof today, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes I am, Nakia. You don’t need to worry really.” He smiled and scratched his head.

“You don’t look like it at all. You can trust me, you know.” She sat beside him and gave him a reassuring smile.

He had nothing to lose by telling Nakia, but of course he’d omit some… less important details.

“Well… It’s just someone’s in my mind a lot and it doesn’t seem like these thought will stop anytime soon.” She nodded, telling him to keep going. “And well, I can’t be with them. They’re on a relationship already, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt y’know?” He could feel his eyes watery, he didn’t want to break down in front of her, so he just hugged his knees and borrowed his face in them. “It’s just really hard, but if they don’t want me what can I do right?”

She patted his back. “That… must hurt indeed. But, I’m sure this person would be happy to know someone loves them this much. That I’m sure.”

“Are you suggesting me to tell them?”

“If you want, but if you don’t want to it’s ok as well. But do what will help ease your heart.” He looked at her.

“Well… thanks,Nakia.” She hugged him.

This felt weird since she was with the man he loved, but he’d gain absolutely nothing hating on Nakia. She never did anything to hurt him and has been a nice companion and friend.

\--

“T’Challa since you’ve finished go tell your sister to get out of that lab, she doesn’t answer my calls.” Ramonda said clearly bothered that Shuri was still in the lab fiddling around and studying all that high tech, she really was a prodigy. But she feared her daughter wasn’t eating correctly.

“Ok, mother.” He cleaned his mouth and got up.

“Oh, I’ll go too” Erik had finished his food as well and decided to follow T’Challa.

“So… T’Challa, how is it going? We haven’t talked in a while.” He tried acting casual.

“Yeah… we’re both really busy huh, sorry about it Erik.” He was genuinely sad he couldn’t spend more time with his cousin… but that was for the better. He had to supress these feelings, especially now that he is with Nakia.

“So are you happy with Nakia?” T’Challa caught off guard by that question.

“Uh… Yes of course, she is a wonderful girl. Couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend.” He paused. “And are you happy, Erik? With everything I mean.”

‘no’ “Yeah… I guess.” He tried not looking at T’Challa. “I-I mean if you’re happy I’m happy!”

“O-Oh is that so?” He giggled, Erik wasn’t helping his thorn heart with these words.

“Ummm… I’m sleepy. You can fetch Shuri by yourself right?” Erik said. He wasn’t feeling good right now, a lot was on his mind and maybe he let slip words he didn’t mean to.

“Oh, ok then Erik,good night.”

Erik surprised hugged his cousin, T’Challa was startled but didn’t object.

“You’re a great cousin T’Challa.” Erik buried his face in T’Challa’s shoulder. The other boy patted his back. ”Thanks for, you know, always being here for me. I mean it.”

T’Challa was silent. They broke the hug apart.

“W-Well… I’ll go---” T’Challa interrupted Erik with a small kiss.

“Wha…” Erik said in awe.

“Good Night. Erik.” And  he left without saying another word.

Erik stood there, unable to really absorb what just had happened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger~  
> sorry bout that (not really)  
> comments and kudos always appreciated! Hopefully next time will be a better chapter!  
> if any of you noticed the titles are all loona songs go give these girls a listen! The single is Everyday I Love You though, but the fic is already name liked that so I used her other song.  
> Anyways see ya next time


	6. Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the lack of updates, I was spending easter with my mom and decided to take a little break, it also helped me gather ideas for the fic  
> we're officially at the middle right now!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter as it was fun to write

Erik was in his bed, he wasn’t trying to sleep, he was trying to process what had just happened outside a few minutes ago. T’Challa kissed him. It was a quick kiss, over in less than 5 seconds. But still a kiss nonetheless. His cousin. Who was dating makes a few months now.

_Why did he do that, why why why?_  He still kept thinking about the feeling of his cousin’s lips on his own. Something he had dreamt about millions of times before, something that he almost had done a few year back.

If they had kissed back then would they be together? He doubted, things between cousins never last, it’d been a one night thing for 2 hormonal teens.

But T’Challa had kissed him now, 4 years later. Erik still can’t shake the attraction off him and that kiss just made it stronger and possibly harder to deal with. He didn’t want that.

The night went on and he wasn’t able to sleep, it was probably 3 AM already, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t confront his cousin.

He exited his bedroom quietly, some guards were still up and greeted him as he walked through the dark halls of the royal palace.

He knocked slightly on T’Challa’s door, surprisingly he was awake, and opened it.

“Erik it’s so late, what do you want?” He rubbed his eyes.

“Let me in so we can talk”

“Ok” He gestured Erik in and closed the door. “What’s bothering you Erik?”

He looked at T’Challa, he was clearly restless which was very unlike him, he was always composed and secure, but now he gave a anxious vibe. He could see the impact of that little kiss on him as well.

“What was that about? That stupid kiss? Aren’t you dating Nakia?” He was blunt, he thought there was no need to ignore the elephant in the room.

“Uhh… Well. You know how it is, I mean you don’t” He was now even more distressed, cheeks tinted with pink and sweaty hands.

“Yeah I don’t.” He sighed. “Look, you like me? You know were cousins and all right?” He was trying to sound composed , but he really was very anxious inside.

“Ummm…” He looked at the floor. “I-I do. A bit.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before you started dating?” He groaned. He was happy he was straightforward at least.

“I guess I always did, growing up with you was fun… but we’re cousins, some people would find it weird. I guess you too find it huh?” He sat on his bed. “Sorry If I made you uncomfortable, it’s just the way you sounded earlier, I thought you felt the same.” He frowned.

He would try to not tell him right away he did in fact reciprocate, so he’d try to be more subtle. “But what about Nakia? Don’t you like her?”

He sighed. “I do but, seems like our relationship isn’t fated to work.”

“Why is that?”

“She is not really a stable girl, she goes where her heart orders. I doubt she would want to be kept by a relationship with someone of royal blood, a heir to the throne no less. I do feel sincere love coming from her in these few months, but it’s just a feeling I get you see? She is always out on her missions and patrols, I barely see her, this type of instability is not for me. You understand?” He was being true to his feelings, T’Challa adored Nakia’s company, she was a fun girl, very sweet and their months together have been happy ones, but the distance aches his hearts sometimes and that’s something he can’t not avoid.

“That’s… harsh I guess. Are you saying you’ll be breaking up?” T’Challa frown just got harsher.

“I don’t want to, but I don’t think it’s my right to bind her dreams to a relationship. It’d bed better if we stopped right now so we don’t suffer more in the future.” T’Challa looked vulnerable, his heart was torn of course, but the pain of having to end a relationship so early hurt just as much.

“Uhh… well. I guess I should be off then. Hopefully I helped a bit” Even though he was the one who needed some help,

T’Challa grabbed his hand.

Erik sighed. “C’mon man, it’s late.”

T’Challa released his hand. “Sorry.”

Erik turned to him. He looked devastated. His heart hurt at the sight.

“About that…”

T’Challa looked at him.

“You didn’t think wrong.” Erik got closer and climbed on top of T’Challa. “Should we… start where we left off, those years ago? No interruptions this time.”

T’Challa was speechless, so he just nodded. Erik didn’t think twice, next thing he knew his lips were locked with his cousin’s

They ended sleeping later than they intended to.

\--

T’Challa woke up feeling the arms of his cousin hugging his chest. It was their day off so they could sleep in.

_What have we done._ He thought. Sure he liked Erik, but he was still dating Nakia, he’d have to talk to her as soon.

He tried moving but Erik squeezed him tighter. “We can get up later, cuz” He said groggly.

He just had lost his virginity to his cousin.

He buried his head in his hands, feeling ashamed. But last night wasn’t unpleasant. Having relationships with a cousin wasn’t forbidden, much less with another man. But he still felt weird.

He had no idea how he would deal with this.

\--

Some Dora Milaje were suspicious of both Erik and T’Challa leaving the bedroom together. They ate together silently, Shuri looked at both of them like she knew something they didn’t, that left both of them a little nervous but they tried to ignore her.

The rest of the day went on without anything happening, they decided to not talk about it, but they ended up not talking at all, much to Erik’s dismay, he was hoping something would come out of this.

Not only that T’Challa had to talk to Nakia, he knew their relationship wouldn’t work (for many different reasons) but he wasn’t feeling ready for it.

Shuri entered his bedroom without knocking.

“Shuri, how many times I’ve told you to knock?” T’Challa said, annoyed.

“Where is Erik, big brother?”

“In his room, probably”

“I wanted to talk to you both.” She climbed in her brother’s bed.

“Why”

“It’s just I saw you two kissing on the hall”

T’Challa froze. “You saw what?”

“You two kissing. I was hiding behind a plant.”

For a young girl she sure was really smart, T’Challa had thought.

“Shuri, don’t tell baba about it ok? It’s a secret. Promise me you won’t tell anyone?” T’Challa held his pinky out to her little sister.

“Fine, but I get your desserts from dinner!” She smiled and pinky swore to not tell anyone.

“Well, let’s go tell Erik, you need to promise him too.” T’Challa and Shuri left their rooms to talk to Erik

\--

“Man how the hell didn’t you see her yesterday?”

“She was hiding Erik, calm down.” T’Challa placed his hand on his cousin’s shoulder.

“How am I supposed to stay calm? Who guarantees she was the only one that saw that whole thing?”

“Shuri promised to stay quiet about it, were safe for now.”

“Fine.” Erik groaned and sat on his bed. “When are you planning to talk to Nakia?”

“Soon” T’Challa wanted to avoid that conversation with Nakia as much as he possibly could.

“You’re postponing, you two need to sort out your issues. Do not know what to tell her?”

T’Challa shook his head. “I can’t simply tell her, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve slept with my cousin’”

“Man you don’t need to be so blunt, just tell her that it isn’t working out and you need someone who can be present for you.” Erik crossed his arms in annoyance.

“I guess that would do.” He knew she’d be hurt, but there was no avoiding it. It would hurt him as well.

Erik cupped T’Challa’s face.

“Look… I know this is hard, we probably should have waited before we did something as well, your heart is probably a mess. I had my fault in that as well.” He breathed in. “But these years would’ve been complete shit if it wasn’t for you, you helped me a great bunch. I just want you to know that what I feel for you is sincere. So whatever choice you make, I’ll support you one hundred percent, if you want to stay with Nakia I won’t mind, we can never talk about this again but if you choose me, I’ll make you not regret it.”

T’Challa was touched, he could feel that Erik’s feelings were true.

The choice was his. Stay with Nakia, but having his heart ache for her when she is away for so long or stay by Erik, who loves him sincerely. But ultimately breaking Nakia’s heart.

So many things factored into that choice and it wasn’t easy.

“I’ll… need some time to think. If that’s ok with you.”

He took Erik’s right hand. “I think I might’ve been jumping to conclusions too soon, we’ve been dating makes 6 or 7 months. I’ll try seeing if it really doesn’t work.”

Erik nodded, sure it hurt, but he had to respect his cousin’s decision. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Thanks. Erik” T’Challa smiled, the weight on his shoulders lifted a little.

He left the room.

Erik layed down on his bed, trying to not feel hurt. But he knew that he had to let T’Challa have time for it, or it would hurt even more.

_Emotions suck_ he thought as he tried taking a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated!   
> I think things are finally starting to feel a little more angsty now...


	7. Singing in the Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi everyone! Hope you like this update! i tried giving it more love and work to get a good chapter, I'm determined to finish this until next week's end, maybe.  
> Thanks so MUCH for leaving kudos and commenting! It means a lot to me! I'm glad my work is reaching out to so many people and so many people are actually enjoying it... It makes my day!

Time went on and T’Challa still hadn’t decided on what to do,  his heart was conflicted. He couldn’t deny it. Erik has impregnated his thoughts ever since they we’re younger but they were cousins who grew together, wasn’t that a bit weird? There was also Nakia, this sweet girl who was a War Dog trainee, her time with T’Challa became even more sparse. He knows he can’t force her to just spend time with him, she is a great partner but she has her own goals in mind.

But T’Challa couldn’t bring himself to break up with her… His heart would be thorn into pieces, he didn’t want to hurt her. He’d be doing this for the sole reason of his love for Erik. Which was so selfish in his mind. In the end both his choices would hurt him and someone else he loved deeply.

He tried to brush those thoughts away while he ate breakfast alone, he had a long day ahead of him, he didn’t want to be bothered by these things.

Erik showed up to eat breakfast, must have slept later than normal.

“Hey cuz.” He sounded groggy from sleep.

“Good morning, Erik.” He drank his coffee, the other’s presence made him uncomfortable.

Erik didn’t try to conversate, it’s been 5 months ever since they had that talk and Erik wanted to respect his cousin’s space, as much as he wanted him to himself, rushing him would probably not going to do any good. But he couldn’t help but still appreciate his cousin’s beauty. _‘Am I no match for you in anything? Lord…’_ Erik thought.

“Ummm… Is something on my face, Erik?” T’Challa asked, distressed by his cousin’s stare.

“Oh—Nothing, Haha!” He nervously recomposed himself “You look like you’re not doing well! You have dark circles under your eyes, that’s all” That wasn’t a lie.

“Oh” He blinked “I guess I’m not sleeping well lately. Maybe I’m overthinking a lot and that’s making me tired.”

Erik knew exactly why he wasn’t sleeping.

Erik sighed “You’re post poning.” He got up from the table. “Talk to her, that’ll ease your mind.”

“Erik it’s just I can’t… hurt her.”

Erik looked at his cousin. “But you’re hurting yourself like this. I’m not telling you this for my sake. It’s for yours.” He left the room. Leaving T’Challa alone and even more tired than before.

\--

Erik decided to take a day off to do some relaxing on his own.

He went to the town to eat, looked around the border and talked to the rhino owners, he talked to some people in the cities and bought some new clothes and had an overall peaceful day alone.

But it was a day alone.

Normally he’d do these things with T’Challa, he’d eat with him and tell T’Challa he had horrible taste in footwear and that he was a fashion disaster overall. They’d watch the sunset together as well.

He guessed that was the only thing he didn’t do, so he looked for the hill they normally went to.

Nobody was there (Gladly) and he sat down on the grass and just appreciated the view.

_‘I miss you here, cuz’_ Flooded with melancholy he just watched the sun go down in silence. He reminisced about the times they spent when yhey were younger. It wasn’t that long ago, but his heartache made it feel like it was. He missed him, his presence and his voice, now they only saw each other on rare occasions. _‘I told myself I’d respect his decision’_ He tried repeating that on his head to ease his pain, but it didn’t work.

“Erik?” He heard a voice.

He looked back to see Zuri. “Oh… Uncle James. Did you know I was here?”

“No no, it was just a coincidence. Watching the sunset I presume?” He sat by Erik’s side.

“Daddy was right, we really do have the most beautiful sunsets here.” It’s been a while since he spoke to Zuri, which he found weird since he was the only thing left from USA he had here.

“You don’t look like you’re doing well, is something on your mind?” He asked earnestly.

“Oh, I guess I do.” He didn’t know if he wanted to tell about how he was feeling to Zuri, how would he react? Would he be weirded out Erik’s in love with his cousin? But he didn’t have anyone to vent, he needed something.

“You can trust me, whatever your problem is, I’ll listen.” Zuri smiled at him.

Erik sighed, he decided to be direct. “I love T’Challa.”

“Oh? Why is that a problem? It’s a good thing you love your cousi---”

Erik cut him. “I mean, love like wanting to marry love.” He turned his face away, feeling ashamed.

Zuri was trying to find words, he needed to be supportive of Erik but it was probably a really sensitive topic for him, he had to say the right thing. “I… see.” He paused. “When did you realise?”

Erik felt a bit better he didn’t react negatively, at least not explicitly. “Maybe 3 or 4 years ago.” Erik sighed. “You see, T’Challa… he’s always there, has always been there. He listens to me and supports me like no one else, we have fun together he is good company. Really cute as well, probably the prettiest man I’ve ever seen and…”

“Ok ok Erik, I understand. But, does he like you back?”

“Probably.” He just wasn’t certain anymore, maybe it was a moment of passion thing. Nakia matters more to him probably.

“Did you tell him how you feel?”

“Yeah.”

“So?”

“Well…” He told Zuri the details, he didn’t want to but if he didn’t he wouldn’t understand any of this.

“Ah… I see. So he is dating Nakia now and you’re afraid he loves her more?” Erik nodded “Well, you told me you’d respect his decision, which would be the mature thing to do of course. But I’m sure if he does indeed love you, he’ll come to you someday.” Zuri put his hand on Erik’s shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“I know but it still doesn’t stop my heart from hurting, you know?” Zuri smiled sadly a Erik.

“I know, but you can’t be down over this, matters of the heart are important but don’t you have goals for yourself that don’t involve love?”

Erik thinks now, the only thing he cared about lately was T’Challa’s attention, he was even considering giving up on the whole spy qualification and going back to America.

“I honestly don’t know.”

Erik sighed, looking defeated. “Well… I’m glad you listened to me anyway Uncle James.”

“I’m also glad you trusted me to tell these things.”

Erik hugged Zuri. He never really showed how much he cherished him, even though they we’re speaking so sparsely.

“Thanks. I’ll try and cheer up. Find something to do and move on.” Erik tried to smile.

“Good going. Well, I’m sure you must be tired, let’s go back to the castle shall we?”

Both men got up and left the hill, the sky becoming fully dark.

\--

Nakia and T’Challa were having dinner after Nakia had returned from a mission, it’s been 3 weeks since they saw each other and she was glad she could spend some time with him.

But T’Challa was feeling uncomfortable due to his talk with Erik in the morning. It showed and Nakia wasn’t a slow person.

“T’Challa… is something the matter?” she asked worried.

“Oh, no nothing.” He averted his gaze, he wasn’t ready. He felt like he’d never be ready. He really was post poning this as much as he could.

“I know something’s up, please don’t be afraid to tell me”

It was now or never.

“Nakia… I…” He rubbed his left temple “This whole distance thing is taking a toll in me.” He said “It’s not your fault at all, please don’t think I’m blaming you. It’s just… it’s hard for me to be away from you so much, I guess I’m needy, I don’t know. But it’s not working for me.”

Nakia didn’t know how to react. T’Challa looked at her dumbfounded expression and he just grew more hurt.

“P-Please don’t think I want you to stop your career as a War Dog or anything like that, it’d be wrong of me to ask of you to put a relationship ahead of your own goals, the problem here is one hundred percent me.” T’Challa eyes were watery. He just wanted to disappear.

“So you want to break up?” Nakia said, trying to maintain her cool.

“I think… it’d be healthier for both of us.”

Nakia was hurt, even more hurt knowing she knew it was partially her fault for T’Challa to feel like this. He had all the right in the world to feel like this.

“Well. I guess then it’s done.” Nakia got up from the table. “I think… I need some time on my own to talk to you again.” She tried holding her tears.

T’Challa nodded.

“Goodbye, T’Challa” she said, with anger in her voice, but also sadness and disappointment. She feels like she wronged T’Challa innocent and loving nature. ‘ _I could have prevented this… I know I could_ ’. Foolish thoughts, T’Challa’s heart already belonged to someone else, it couldn’t be avoided. He was to blame for trying to avoid and hide it. Nakia blamed herself for nothing.

She left the establishment leaving T’Challa to his own tears and thoughts.

_‘Erik, I hope it’s not too late.’_ With that thought he wiped his tears away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!  
> kudos and comments always appreciated.  
> Also if someone wants to follow my twitter, it's https://twitter.com/idontlikeenji  
> I don't do much there, but if any of you want to know about my progress in writing and all, you can follow me there  
> it's mostly fanart retweets and kpop talk haha  
> well, see you next time!


	8. Love Cherry Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry about the lack of updates, I am feeling really sick lately, I had to muster strength to write and post this, my stomach is KILLING me  
> But I didn't want to leave everyone without the update, so if the chapter is a bit bad it's because I struggled to write it...

After the dinner he and Nakia had and their break up, T’Challa decided it was time to talk to Erik finally. He was still apprehensive about it, what if he had made the other wait too much? But he needed to have this talk with him now. He walked slowly to the royal palace, being greeted by everyone, since he was the prince, everyone wanted a picture or just a handshake. He didn’t turn down anyone, as an heir he had to show his love for his people so they felt secure with their nation in his hands. All this responsibility was taking a toll on him though, he was a mere 20 year old boy, he wanted to enjoy more of his life.

He sighed. “Sorry, Nakia…” He really felt bad for doing this, but he knew this would be the better outcome for them. It was still hard though.

He kept on walking and walking, felt like the palace was still so far away. This was just another way he was procrastinating. He knew Erik was hurt, it didn’t take a genius to see that. But avoiding him longer would make him even more hurt. The walk took longer than necessary but he eventually reached the palace.

The guards greeted him by the entrance, like usual. His father and mother weren’t present this evening, they haven’t been lately. Not that he minded it, he knew they were busy people.

“Oh, big brother” Shuri called out for him.

“Hi, Shuri.”

“You don’t look very well, are you ok?”

He did look like a wreck probably. “Yes, I am Shuri. Don’t worry.” He patted his sister’s head and smiled at her.

“Are you really?”

“Why would I lie?”

“If you say so”

“Is Erik home?”

“Yes, he is. He’s on his bedroom.”

“Ok great, I need to talk to him.” His stomach was already starting to twist, but he had to talk to him as soon as possible. “Wait for us to have dinner ok?” She gave him a thumbs up.

\--

T’Challa knocked on Erik’s door, hoping he wasn’t asleep. “Erik are you awake?”

“Yeah Yeah, I’m on my way.” He opened the door. “What is it?”

“May I come in?” Erik nodded.

“What’s the matter, cuz?” Erik crossed his arms.

“So, me and Nakia have broken up.”

Erik didn’t know how to react. “Oh. That sucks. But I’m glad you sorted all that out.”

“So that means we can be a thing?”

Erik wanted this, but it was too abrupt. “Are you sure you don’t want to cool off a bit? You just broke up.”

“Do you want to wait more?”

“…No, but if you need time I understand”

“What I need is you.” T’Challa said and kissed effervescently Erik. Erik was surprised but of course he would answer the kiss.

They broke apart. “Well, don’t blame me later.”

\--

Few weeks passed, Erik and T’Challa were in a relationship now. They didn’t tell anyone, but they were trying to spend most of their time together now. T’Challa was happy. Erik was great company and a very affectionate boyfriend. Always greeting him with hugs and kisses (when no one was around).

They would watch the sunset almost always together now.

“It’s funny how much time we spent here just looking at the sun set.” T’Challa commented while laying his head on Erik’s lap.

“Well, it never gets old really.” Erik caressed T’Challa’s head.

“Haven’t you decided what you will do?”

Erik frowned. “No.”

“Erik, you can’t do nothing forever, what about the whole war dog thing?”

“I didn’t like being out for so long, this is my home you know… I miss it.”

“What do you want to do really then?”

“I dunno, stay by your side is cool isn’t it?” Erik smiled and scratched his neck.

“It is… I guess. I’m sure you’ll find something. You’re smart.” T’Challa was worried about Erik’s future. He didn’t want his cousin to just wait around doing nothing his whole life. He was sure Erik didn’t want that either. “Why don’t you speak with baba, I’m sure he could help.”

“Well… I can try.”

\--

“Uncle T’Chaka” Erik called his uncle.

“Yes Erik, what is it?”

“So… I know T’Challa is going to be king and all, but what can I do? I want to be important too.”

T’Chaka was surprised about his question, he thought Erik was doing fine.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Well… I’d like to help T’Challa, that’s the only thing I can think of.”

King T’Chaka scratched his chin. “Hmmm… Ramonda told you about the Black Panther right?” Erik nodded. “Well, there is another side of the story, one which is not very well known.”

Erik’s interest was piqued.

“You see, normally there is just one person who drinks of the Heart-Shaped Herb potion, but, there has been cases of 2 recipients of Bast’s power. The first, or course, was the Black Panther. The king and leader of Wakanda, who would fight for his kingdom and protect it’s people. The second however, was not made for ruling or for defending the people. The Golden Jaguar role was solely devoted to protecting the king from harm and to act in the shadows, that is why there is so few Golden Jaguars in our history, they’re not made to be known. But a Golden Jaguar can only be created through a strong bond between them and the Black Panther, or else Bast would refuse to give her powers upon them.”

“That’s so… cool!” His eyes where shining like a little kid.

“What I’m trying to say is: You could be a Golden Jaguar, Erik. But that depends on your bond with T’Challa.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes, if you do indeed want that you’ll have to undergo the same training and qualification T’Challa goes through though. It won’t be easy.”

“I’m down for it!” Erik said enthusiastically, he could finally help T’Challa in some way, besides how awesome would it be to be like a super hero?

“Well then, you’ll start your training with T’Challa next week. But remember, your bond with him must be grander than anything else or Bast will reject you.”

That scared him honestly, but he was sure they were already close enough, he doubted it would fail.

“Understood, uncle!” He was eager about his new goal. ‘Protect the king’ that felt super important.

\--

“C’mon Erik, get up” T’Challa sighed and crossed his arms.

“You go through this everyday?” Erik panted, exhausted from running so much.

“We didn’t even start and yes, everyday. I need to be in the best shape for the throne. You need too, aren’t you going to protect me, Mr. Bodyguard?” T’Challa teased him.

“Of course I am.” He got up. “Let’s keep going then.”

They finished their work out pretty late since Erik had to stop so many times to rest, T’Challa rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. He would just have to deal with Erik being out of shape.

Erik was so tired he just wanted to sleep. But he needed this dinner, or he’d collapse.

“Look at you eat like a caveman.”

“How come you’re not an inch tired?” He asked incredulous

“I’m used to it.”

They both finished their plates and went to their bedroom to finally rest.

They laid down together on the bed, it was a cold night, so they cuddled each other for heat.

“You know Erik, I’m glad we can work together for real now.”

“Me too. I finally feel like I have a place in all of this.”

T’Challa smiled “That’s great.”

“Well, we should really sleep now.”

“Yeah…” T’Challa yawned.

“Love you Erik.”

Erik’s eyes widened, but he was happy.

“Love you too”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! stay tuned for next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments always appreciated! I don't have a beta reader so it's probably full of grammar mistakes  
> sorrey


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